Once September arrives, many people who live in the Midwest start gearing up for cooler temps, hoodies, and football. Many fans eagerly anticipate the celebration of the all-American pigskin game day, notably the tailgating.
We were determined to provide an expert in all aspects of this legendary party scene. While scrambling to find an unofficial authority about the topic, imagine our excitement when we ran down Noman Clature, who, ironically, lives with his two wildcats (Warren & Gladys) in East Grand Rapids. We knew we had landed a professional clutch performer when he passed on receiving any coin. A sak lunch/picnic historian, a real flea flicker, forever obsessed with retitling things. Mr. Clature agreed to provide his all-star, play-by-play pro-tips on consuming rich grub outdoors. Here is Noman…
So, here’s the game plan, you’re going to get a kick out of this. Your goal is to scout out a football game you’re not that committed to watching. Harvest some new friends or line up a special team of uninterested diehards to pack a box with all the necessary equipment for cooking in a parking lot. Rush to leave the house 5 hours before kick-off.
This next play is key; when you set up camp, be sure to go downfield, walk-on down to the red zone so as not to cause any interference with the actual spectators or festive parking lot chalk drawings. For safety’s sake, be on the offensive, and listen for the buzzer or other audible warnings and always avoid the dead zone.
Don’t drop the ball on being well-prepared for stadium weather conditions. Try not to get all defensive if the weather goes south; it may turn out it’s just a false start to chili weather. A pregame plan for drawing up a coverage approach calls for staying warm so, pack extra jerseys and gloves.
Then kick off the eating; first, down some hot dogs or toss up a jam turnover or a bowl of fumble brownies. Your food roster options have unlimited substitutions available. We all have high hopes for that wingman returning with his famous bootleg Heisman chicken again, without spiking the sauce this year. I would not call a foul if you hit the concession counter during half time. With four quarters, you might get a chip, or a butterfingers, you might even get a nickel back.
Don’t make any snap decisions regarding holding in the corner, even if someone makes a double move or a long pass, which could land both feet in dangerous territory, answering a blitz of awkward questions, man to man.
Just attempt to follow my lead; before Autumn leaves, make some calls and get a huddle of rowdy fans on the line. Hopefully, you’ll be running back to Will in the backfield with the wishbone in one hand and your throwing hand in your pocket, as you rake in the compliments this fall. Just plead guilty for excessive celebration; football is here, let the tailgating begin!
There you have it folks – team Omega Home Studio wishes you all a happy fall and a massively successful tailgating season!
Goat Cheese Buffalo Dip – The perfect recipe for tailgating